On Saturday evening of [email protected], director/writer/pop culture mascot Kevin Smith held his annual An Evening With Kevin Smith panel, where he talked for an hour about his life, movies, and whatever. And he got bleeped (almost) every time he cursed, which was a lot.
In total, throughout the 57 minute and 41 second panel, Smith was bleeped a total of 113 times. If you’ve ever been to one of these events, you know that Smith doesn’t censor himself while talking. He lets the curses fly, and why shouldn’t he? He’s made a living crafting fantastically fun moments of dialogue revolving around 37 acts of fellacio (in a row?), overweight men in Batman costumes “flying,” and transactional songs for purchasing marjiuana that open with numerous mentions of slang for coitus.
And even though YouTube doesn’t have guidelines for cussin’, Smith was bleeped every moment a four or five or twelve letter swear word came out of his mouth. Within the first two minutes of his panel, Smith was bleeped seven times, averaging 3.5 bleeps per minute (BPM) or 210 beeps per hour. At 11 minutes, Smith wracked up 36 bleeps, and he had slowed a bit to 3.27 BPM.
Moving into the section where Smith discussed his current projects, the auteur ramped up a little at the 16 minute mark at 57 bleeps, with a cruising speed of 3.56 BPM. However, when mentioning the Netflix Masters of the Universe: Revelations series he’s producing, Smith slowed down a bit. Between minute 20 and 23, he was only bleeped once, coming in a total of 62–and his BPM at this point was 2.69.
Don’t worry, things picked up again after the MOTU talk. And Smith hit his 69th bleep at 26 minutes and 37 seconds. It was very nice. His BPM was about 2.5 at the time.
However, when Smith was talking about the Jay & Silent Bob Reboot Iron Bob Funko Pop, he swore, but was not bleeped. The audio just went quiet. This was not counted in our final count, nor was the time Smith let the word “s***” slip past the audio editor during that segment as well. Another one slipped by at the 35 minute mark, while Smith discussed the Mooby’s pop-up restaurant.
At 44 minutes, Smith had been bleeped 94 times, which translates to 2.13 BPM or 128 BPH. Obviously, his rate of swearing had slowed down quite a bit. However, the crowning moment came at 46:12 when Smith reached 100 bleeps. There was no grand moment, no confetti, or a “we did it sign.” However, Smith did debut a trailer for the upcoming movie Kilroy Is Here, which you can check out below at the 48:16 mark.
Smith explained that he’s been working on it for a few years, and the film features Chris Jericho–one of the GameSpot wrestling podcast Wrestle Buddies’ favorite wrestlers. Jericho plays the GaterChaser.
The trailer did have four bleeps in it, but that was not part of the final count, as it wasn’t Smith being bleeped. Interestingly enough, the trailer was incredibly gory and violent, but that wasn’t censored.
Maybe I’m splitting hairs though. Two more curses were silenced and not bleeped as Smith reminisced about Comic-Con’s past. They were not included for the final count.
Smith closed out the panel discussing Twilight of the Mallrats, a film about Brodie Bruce, then discussing breaking his intermittent fast and hit a grand total of 113 bleeps, 3 s*** slips missed by the editor, and 4 audio drops where bleeps should have gone.
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