Gaming Detail: Crusader Kings 3 Lets You Dress Up Toddlers As Crusaders

Gaming Detail: Crusader Kings 3 Lets You Dress Up Toddlers As Crusaders

“Crusade” has sort of become a bit of a loaded term. Historically speaking, the Crusades took place between 1096 and 1271 with the ostensible objective of reclaiming the Holy Land from Islamists, but they mostly managed to just kill hundreds of thousands to millions of people either through direct combat, disease, or starvation from disrupting economic ties.

They were, all things considered, a bad time for all involved. Hence, declaring a holy war on anyone is seen today as a social faux pas.

Crusader Kings III, a game about dynastic grand strategy, takes place between the years 867 and  1453, spanning both the era of the original Crusades but also the various Catholic vs. Christian crusades that took place afterward. There were just a whole bunch of religious wars going on during this period, so it’s appropriate to name a game about feudal empire-building Crusader Kings, even if it’s kinda awful too.

We’re not going to be too hard on Crusader Kings III because the franchise is also pretty silly in its presentation. Yes, you can declare a holy war in Crusader Kings, but players seem far more interested in sleeping with their sisters or plotting to overthrow a neighboring empire rather than engage in the wholesale slaughter of an entire culture.

And occasionally you get reminded of just how silly Crusader Kings III can be in even more stark terms. Case in point, this adorable crusader baby.

As you probably could have guessed, babies don’t really get dressed up as a medieval knight on their way to cleanse the Holy Land even in the 1300s. They would normally be swaddled in robes or just be completely naked. However, Crusader Kings III allows players to dress their dynasty up however they like thanks to the Barber function, which allows you to customize your entire family’s appearance from attire to hairstyle.

There’s also a mod that removes your rulers’ clothes, but children and babies thankfully remain covered.

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