How Different Video Game Characters Would Ruin A Snowball Fight

How Different Video Game Characters Would Ruin A Snowball Fight

We’re all dreaming of a white Christmas, and not just in certain clubhouses in Alabama. Snow is synonymous with the picturesque and rosy cheeked ideal of Christmas, and while more often than not we're left with an icy chill, watery slush, and cold toes even with two pairs of socks on, it's still nice to think about the wonder of a white Christmas.

With snow you can make snow angels, build snowmen, or just walk around making that satisfying crunching sound while you ruin the fresh white drift for everyone else. You can also test your mettle with a snowball fight, taking what should be an hour of good, clean fun way too seriously and wrecking it for everyone else by being overly competitive and launching your snow grenades way too hard. We know lots of gamers who would do that, so let's take a look at all the ways video game characters would ruin snowball fights.

Sephiroth – Final Fantasy 7

Sephiroth ruins the snowball fight in the most classic way – putting rocks inside his snowballs. It's such a cheap, dirty, underhanded trick and it's perfect for Sephiroth. You can see him now, crouched down with that supercilious smirk as he brushes his hair back behind his ears, secretly grabbing a rock and then tightly packing snow around it, before launching it directly at your face. One-Winged Angel? One-Winged Bellend more like.

Lara Croft – Tomb Raider

Simple one, this. Lara takes it way too seriously. Everyone's just lopping loose snow back and forth, and she backflips in, dual-wielding snowballs, pelting everyone in sight so hard that they end up running home with red welts on their cheeks. She's too good and puts in too much effort, which isn't exactly in the spirit of Christmas now, is it.

Machamp – Pokemon

Machamp means well. He really does. But he has four arms, is as strong as seven body-builders, and gets over-excited easily. He can throw four times as fast and seven times as hard as anybody else, which makes it a bit of an unfair contest. It's a shame too, because Machamp has the heart of the ideal snowball fighter, but alas not the body.

Kratos – God of War

Kratos wouldn't actually be involved in the snowball fight, he'd just be walking past trying to avoid anything that resembled fun. However, he would, eventually, be struck by anmy an errant snowball. Right off his bald bonce it would bounce, and everything would stop. The laughter would die. The footsteps would freeze. All eyes would await the rage, and none would come. In his typical gruff fashion, Kratos would grunt in disapproval and continue walking, but the game would be over. Mirth would be gone from the air, replaced by suffocating tension, and we would all sheepishly retreat home for some hot chocolate.

Agent 47 – Hitman

We all hate snowball fighters like Agent 47. Instead of playing fair like everyone else, taking up one side of the park and lobbing poorly made snowballs at those positioned opposite, Agent 47 hunts down his prey. He stays out of sight. He does not make a sound. Then suddenly, he grabs you from behind and scrubs snow roughly all over your face, laughing as the flakes drip down your collar and make you shiver while your face stings in the winter wind. The worst kind of snowballer fighter. At least, except for…

Sebastian Vael is the biggest drip I have ever met, and I lived with a leaky tap for three years. The worst Dragon Age character by a comfortable margin, Sebastian would be all fun and games at first, then he would get hit by a single snowball and run off crying to mummy telling everyone they had to stop the game right now.

Source: Read Full Article