Today is Mario Day, because it’s Mar10. Except of course, it’s not Mar10. Okay, it’s literally March 10, but nobody says that. If you asked someone what day it is they’d say, “It’s the 10th of March, but why are you asking me the date? We’re in the middle of a pandemic and every day is a relentless Mobius strip of the day before.” They wouldn’t say March 10. That means it’s not Mario Day, it’s Iomar Day. Happy Iomar Day, everybody.
You might bring up that we write it as March 10, and I mean, yeah, kind of. We do write release dates and what not like that at TheGamer.com. So, Outriders will release on April 1, New Pokemon Snap on April 30, Mario Golf: Super Rush on June 25, and Elden Ring on Never. But I’m British, so putting the month first just feels a bit weird. Today is 10/03, because it’s the tenth day of the third month. That all makes sense. 03/10 is nonsense, because you’re telling me it’s the third month of the year, and the tenth day in that month. It’s a stupid way to write the date. I’d give it a 3/10.
This isn’t a Britain vs the USA thing either. The USA is the only country in the world to prefer months first, with most going for the straight forward day/month/year method. China and a few others go year/month/day, but at least then the whole thing can just be flipped. Some countries even use a mix of months first and days first; this, in fairness, seems even worse than the USA’s method and especially confusing, but at least they’re trying to get the days first. The USA is the Lone Ranger sticking to months first, despite the fact that it defies all logic. Americans do this because of middle-endianness, which is a word as daft as this whole practise.
Worse, they’re trying to push this onto the rest of us with cutesy slogans like Mar10 Day, but I won’t let them. From Mar10 Day, it’s just a short leap to us all saying “y’all” and getting really into cornholing; this is a real American sport, by the way. Do you want your kids to start cornholing each other? Because if not, you better drop this Mar10 Day nonsense right now. We have cheese rolling and cheese rolling is cool.
N7 Day can stay. November begins with ‘N’, so the seventh day is N7. That still puts the month first, but at least it’s clear that the N stands for November. I’m not getting confused thinking it means ‘nine’ and that N7 day falls on 09/07 – that’s the 9th of July, for any Americans still getting used to seeing the date written correctly.
Celebrate Mario on any day you like. Mario’s great! But today’s not Mar10 Day. It’s Iomar Day, and unless you want to practise cornholing, don’t you forget it.
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Stacey Henley is an editor for TheGamer, and can often be found journeying to the edge of the Earth, but only in video games. Find her on Twitter @FiveTacey
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